You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I love how my cats smell like pot.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Semen is not good for contacts.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
