Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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