I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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