I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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