Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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