I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
