I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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