franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
