Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
