Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
