addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
