Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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