If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
