turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize