I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
