i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
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