Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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