I'm eating all of the evidence.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize