Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
