I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
True strength comes from lack of pants
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