i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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