So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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