Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
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