Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
