he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
