He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
