now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
