Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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