Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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