You just made me feel so damn special
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
only if we run a train.
done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just want nice things and good sex
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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