just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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