So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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