wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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