Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
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