then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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