her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
