Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Boobs speak an international language.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
