dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
