fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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