she was so not down for the gang bang
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
