Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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