Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Your penis caused this!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
