That's intense
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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