If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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