Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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