Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
