I am full of burrito and curiosity
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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