then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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