I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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