I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I lost the right to judge tonight
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
