I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
