Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
