life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
