handjob tips. give me some.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
