it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
