dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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