No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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