Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
