tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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