How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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