Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
