There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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