i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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