Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
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I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
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I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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