I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
